Handling conflicts in a relationship, especially regarding significant decisions like taking a partner's last name, requires empathy, understanding, and effective communication. Here are some steps you can take to work through this issue with your spouse:

1. Open Dialogue: Initiate an open and honest conversation with your spouse about your feelings regarding taking their last name. Share your reasons calmly and clearly, focusing on your own perspective without blaming or accusing your spouse.

2. Active Listening: Allow your spouse to express their thoughts and feelings on the matter without interruption. Practice active listening by paying attention to their words, maintaining eye contact, and showing empathy towards their viewpoint, even if you disagree.

3. Explore Compromise: Brainstorm potential compromises that could satisfy both of you. For example, you could consider using both last names with a hyphen, creating a new surname together, or using one partner's last name as a middle name.

4. Understand Motivations: Seek to understand the underlying motivations behind your spouse's desire for you to take their last name. It could be rooted in tradition, family expectations, or a sense of unity and belonging.

5. Respect Differences: Acknowledge that you and your spouse may have different beliefs and values regarding this issue. Respect each other's perspectives, even if you ultimately decide on different paths.

6. Seek Mediation if Needed: If you're struggling to find common ground or experiencing intense conflict, consider seeking help from a couples' therapist or mediator. A neutral third party can facilitate productive discussions and help you navigate the issue more effectively.

7. Focus on the Relationship: Remember that the goal is to strengthen your relationship and find solutions that work for both of you. Keep the lines of communication open and prioritize mutual understanding and respect.

By approaching the issue with patience, empathy, and a willingness to find common ground, you and your spouse can work through conflicts related to taking a last name and strengthen your relationship in the process.